| "...
the trauma of being diagnosed
with breast cancer and the treatment I'm going through now
... cannot compare to the pain and
trauma that I have gone through with the therapist abuse.
The therapist abuse being so much worse." |
|
Sexual Exploitation Survivors
Speak Out!
Kathy Devlin
About 15 years ago, I was abused by a
psychologist whom I was seeing for therapy for treatment of abuse that I
endured as a child. During this therapy with him, he sexually abused me. I
later filed a complaint with the state licensing board, and he was made to
surrender his license. I also filed a successful civil suit against him for
damages against both myself and my family.
...
I went back to graduate school and earned a Master in
Social Work degree in May 2000, and after graduation I was employed
as a school social worker at an inner city school. In late August of
2001, however, I was diagnosed with breast cancer that spread to my
lymph nodes, and the tumor itself was very large. I have been on
disability since my mastectomy surgery in mid-September, and I have
been receiving chemotherapy since November 2. I will have my last
chemo treatment on April 9, then it's on to daily radiation for
about six weeks and Tamoxifen for five
years. Chemo has not been fun, but I
maintain a positive spirit and try to reach out to others when I am
feeling down. I have a wonderful husband who has stood by my side
during the mess that the abusive psychologist had created in our
lives. He continues to support me by coming to every doctor's and
chemo appointment with me. I also have two wonderful kids, 22 and 17
years old. They can sometimes give me hassles, but I think that they
have turned out to be two very grounded and remarkable young women,
considering all that our family has been through.
I have also been in therapy with a very competent, caring
clinical social worker whom I have been
seeing since I left the abuser. She has been a real life line for
me, and sometimes it just amazes me how differently she behaves -
and how differently I feel as a client - from when I was in my
so-called therapy with the abuser. I wonder how I could have stayed
so long feeling so depressed and desperate while I was in therapy
with him, but telling myself how much I needed him, and that he was
the only therapist who was adequately trained and experienced to
help me (he continually told me this).
...
I was a total mess while I was recovering from this
psychologist's abuse. I was in a psychiatric hospital four times,
had a few suicide attempts, engaged in self-injurious behavior like
self-mutilation and taking excessive amounts of pills just to sleep
so I could get away from the pain. This behavior is all gone now for
me. I never thought I would be able to get
over the pain, but I did.
... My
family and I have grown so much closer through the ordeal that we
are now going through with my cancer. I never had any of the support
mechanisms in place that I now have when I was attempting to heal
from my childhood abuse. The abusive therapist isolated me from
others (even my family), and I became totally dependent on
him alone. I think that is why the therapy abuse was so much more
devastating to me and my family.
...
I have said this to many people: the trauma of
being diagnosed with breast cancer and the treatment I'm going
through now (which is very aggressive) - and even the very real
possibility (about 50% chance) that I may not be alive in 5 years
- this cannot compare to the pain and trauma that I have gone
through with the therapist abuse. The therapist abuse being so much
worse.
Copyright ©
2002. All rights reserved. The above excerpts from Kathy
Devlin's story have been
reproduced here with the author's permission.
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