A Farewell to an Advocate
November 27, 1999
REGARDING THE DEATH OF MARY EDWARDES
Having just spoken to Mary on the phone this past week, I
was shocked to learn of her untimely death. In that last conversation, Mary had phoned me
up, as usual "going the extra mile" for a victim of a professional. She was her
usual high-energy and enthusiastic self. I would have sworn she would live forever.
Mary's kindness and caring will live forever, as will her
personal sense of purpose and integrity. She was a tireless advocate, impressive even to
me, someone who hangs around with lots of advocates. She was brave and courageous, always
willing to stick her neck out if it might help somebody.
She believed that while one could not change the past,
one could do ones best to right wrongs....to bring accountability in the present. She
believed that she could change things, one person at a time, one case at a time. Most of
all, she was willing to put in incredible time and energy to help those who often had few
friends, and who were challenging the establishment.
To many this work would seem thankless, but to her it was
an obvious joy, borne of the pleasure of helping others. Internationally, she was unique.
I feel fortunate to have known her and worked with her at
times. This is an immense loss. We will not see her likes again.
And yet, it seems that she is still with us. I can
picture her -- somewhere -- still cheering us on, both encouraging us and pushing us.
Somewhere her radiance, and her intensity, is still hanging in the air in the rooms where
we do our work. A memorial she would want is for us to say that we will pick up the work
she began and nurtured for so many years, and carry forth. Her memory will always serve as
an antidote to discouragement and burn out.
Farewell dear friend and noble warrior.....you will not
be forgotten.
Gary R. Schoener, Licensed Psychologist
and fellow advocate
We here in the UK are devastated by Mary Edwardes sudden
death. Her work on professional and clergy abuse was having a huge impact on
establishments and her track record for 'winning' cases was awesome. In two weeks time we
were due to have a very important meeting and Mary will not be with us. It is a great
loss. She was tireless in her persuit of Justice. No effort was too great and she was very
clear and professional about what were the essentials about the issues. She could explain
and support women in such a way as to heal the great shame and guilt. She had a great gift
in helping women appreciate that what we experienced was not an 'affair' but exploitation.
Her words were balm to a troubled soul. It has left us here in the UK bereft, for our work
in these areas is fledgling, far behind America. We will miss her wit, cheek, and
mischieviousness. She delighted in the chase and was able to keep us cheerful in the
fight. Goodbye Mary, friend, advocate and marvellous person. Goodbye.
Margaret Kennedy. Christian Survivors of Sexual Abuse (CSSA)
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