If all my days
were told in angeled speech would I be safe from harm?
Would pumpkined coaches come for me
with guarantees of honesty
if all my words were beautiful?
Would princes charming, each deliver promises
to breach the broken-hearted legacies
my childhood kingdom left for me?

If all my words were beautiful
would fairy godmothers appear with wanded wishes,
freeing me from fear that every one I loved
would go away?

If all my words were neatly placed
bouqueted and gathered, bound and laced
with covenants before the altar of my heart,
would I be free from treachery?

If every word my soul released created harmonies,
a potpourri of promises,
a feast of things unseen by earth-bound eyes,
would I be shielded from the lies that wounded me?

I sing the stories of my heart,
a siren in a raging sea,
and hope my words will play a part in liberating me
from all the dangers of a childhood’s world
that fell from grace, and art,
before my soul could see.

10-28-2000

The early abuse as a child created deep wounds and damaged energy that attracted those who preyed upon the vulnerable. After several experiences with abusive authority figures I came to realize there must be something within me that needed healing, that would open my eyes so that I would no longer stumble into hurtful situations. This poem was written after yet another therapeutic relationship gone bad. It came out of the pain of wanting approval because I felt I wasn’t worthy of being loved. Being creative was one of the most powerful self-preservation tools I had, but it still wasn’t enough. Ultimately, the violated child must learn to love herself if she is to be redeemed.